Don't Ask, Don't Tell: The Need For Sacrifice

From Tikkun Daily:



Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: The Need for Sacrificeby: Amanda Udis-Kessler on November 19th, 2010

US Army: Border Police in Paktiya (photo by Staff Sgt. Andrew Smith)

In times of war, sacrifice is, unfortunately, required. The US is at war now, and we live in a profoundly dangerous world. Thus, while we may wish it were not so, when it comes to DADT we must put personal agendas aside and focus on the greater good.



That’s right, DADT supporters, I’m talking to you.



It’s time for you to make the sacrifice, to lay down your prejudice and fear and put America’s needs ahead of your own. After all, America has sacrificed good soldiers to homophobic personal agendas long enough. And we all know other countries that have not found openly serving LGBT service members to be a problem. (Israel, anyone?) So what’s the issue?



Here’s one possibility: the Pentagon’s own study confirms that openly LGBT service members are not a concern for at least a substantial proportion of currently serving members of the military. But what about the others? What are they afraid of? What is it about a gay man (for example) that turns a brave soldier into a coward? Is the otherwise brave soldier afraid that a gay guy might sneak a look at him in the shower? (By the way, that’s not likely, according to all the closeted gay soldiers I know.) If that is the fear, what’s the source of it? Would the brave soldier get squeamish if a woman found him attractive? I doubt it. So why would it bother the same soldier if a man found him attractive?



Most feminists would say that it’s because a man looking at another man “feminizes” the man being ogled – and we can’t have that, can we? It doesn’t matter how strong, muscular, brave or heterosexual a man is – if a gay guy looks at him, he’s been de-manned. So in order to protect those strong, muscular, brave, heterosexual men from being turned into “girls,” we have to keep openly gay men out of the military.



Well, all you strong, muscular, brave, heterosexual men, here’s your opportunity to show how committed you really are to your country. Here’s your chance to find a new level of bravery you didn’t know you had. It’s time to train your weapons, not on other human beings, but on gender limitations. You know you would offer up your body and life if it were needed. Now, we need you to offer up your gender stereotypes and fear, to lay them down, to sacrifice them for a greater cause.



Perhaps some DADT supporters have a different issue: they find homosexuality morally and physically repugnant and religiously offensive. Surely, no one can ask such a person to deny their deepest values or feelings, can they?



Again, it comes down to what is most important. If you are a soldier (as opposed to, say, a conscientious objector), you have already decided that your religious and moral values do not prevent you from serving. And once you are committed to serving, you are committed to giving your utmost, your level best, to the military. And giving your utmost, your level best, to the military, means doing whatever it takes to make our military the best military it can be, even at personal cost, even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if your religion stands in opposition.



Your freedom to believe what you believe about homosexuality is not in question. Your right to be squeamish around LGBT people is not in question. But you gave up the right to do anything other than serve to the best of your ability when you joined the military. You do not get to be anything less than a top-flight soldier just because you are serving next to an openly lesbian or gay or bisexual person (who also does not get to be anything less than a top-flight soldier). And you do not get to stand in the way of the military’s effort to gain or keep superb soldiers just because of what you believe privately. You don’t get to do it with race. You don’t get to do it with gender. So you don’t get to do it with sexuality. Period. It’s time for you DADT supporters to sacrifice for your country and wholeheartedly (if uncomfortably) support the repeal of DADT.



Friends of mine who read this will be surprised to see me sticking up for the military in this way. It is neither my usual nor my native stance. But given that the military is not going anywhere right now, and given that LGBT people are just as patriotic as anyone else, and given that poor LGBT people need some kind of work with stability and the potential to make a career of it, I see no reason to support DADT and many reasons to oppose it.



What do you think?